ARE YOU IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION?

Physical Abuse

1. Does your partner ever strike you with hands or feet (slapping, punching, or kicking)?
2. Does your partner ever strike you with an object?
3. Does your partner ever threaten you with an object or weapon?
4. Has your partner ever threatened suicide or to kill you?
5. Does your partner ever give you visible injuries such as welts, bruises, cuts, black eyes, or lumps on the head?
6. Do you feel nervous or frightened about what your partner will say or do if you are even a few minutes late from work, shopping, the hairdresser, or visiting others?
7. Does your partner threaten to “punish you” or “teach you a lesson” if you “misbehave”?
8. Has being hit or beaten in the past made you fear it will happen again if you do not comply?

Sexual Abuse

1. Does your partner pressure you for sex and become excessively angry if you will not comply?
2. Does your partner keep you up late, asking about real or imagined incidents?
3. Does your partner call you names with sexual connotations, such as “slut” or “whore”?
4. Does your partner flaunt relationships or flirt with others while in your presence?
5. Does your partner ever accuse you of having affairs with other men or women?

Psychological Abuse

1. Does your partner continually monitor your time and make you account for every action of your day (running errands, visiting friends, commuting to work, etc.)?
2. Do you ever feel isolated and alone, as if there is no one close in whom you can confide?
3. Is your partner overly critical of such things as your cooking, clothes, or appearance?
4. Does your partner’s mood change radically, from very calm to very angry or vice versa?
5. Has your partner talked you into doing something, and then made you feel guilty or ashamed?
6. Does your partner force you to apologize for things you did not do?
7. Does your partner become angry or upset, dampening your enthusiasm, just before a social event you looked forward to?
8. Do you discourage people from telephoning you at home because your partner resents sharing your time?
9. Is your partner jealous of your friends, family, or even pets?
10.  Do you often feel you are “walking on eggshells” around your partner?
11. Does your partner claim to know the “right” way to do things and suggest that you do not know what is “right”?

Economic Abuse

1. Does your partner demand a strict account of how you spend your money?
2. Is your partner disturbed by your working or by the thought of you working?
3. Does your partner insist that you ask permission to spend money for household or personal items, whether the money is a community fund or your own income?
4. Does your partner interrupt your work or other things that are important to you, to get his or her needs met?
5. Does your partner make light of your triumphs, discourage your plans, or disparage your successes?

Please call ALIVE if you answered yes to any of these questions. You might be in an abusive relationship and we are here to help you.